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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24435499">Jack and Jill</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonkystank/pseuds/tonkystank'>tonkystank</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Too Young For Tragedy [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Drug Use, Homophobic Language, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Racism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, No Context, Suicidal Thoughts, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, TOO MANY COMMAS, The Author Regrets Everything, slightly unsympathetic deceit/janus, slightly unsympathetic roman, slightly unsympathetic virgil, the sides are only unsympathetic from remus' pov</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:36:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,717</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24435499</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonkystank/pseuds/tonkystank</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus is having a really, really bad night.</p>
<p>Week.</p>
<p>Month.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders &amp; Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Too Young For Tragedy [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>91</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Jack and Jill</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey all!! okay so oh my GOD this has a lot of trigger warnings so PLEASE check the tags. I want all of you to stay safe.<br/>This is a one shot from a high school au I'm working on, so you might be a little confused. The only things you need to know for this is that Roman and Remus had siblings who died in a car crash when they were thirteen, Remus does drugs (currently anyways), and Virgil and Janus only recently stopped hanging out with him for reasons unknown.<br/>no one is actually unsympathetic in this, It's from Remus' point of view so everything is a little screwed. Unreliable narrator y'all. I hope you like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It all happened so fast. Remus never even stood a chance. </p>
<p>First, it was emo, leaving the group. Realizing that he had more to gain from the nice kids, from his brother, the ones who don't do drugs and aren't freaks of the school.</p>
<p>And that was fine, y'know? <em> (it wasn't) </em> if Virgil wants to leave, let him. He can still have fun with his favorite snake; pretending that Virgil wasn't one of the things grounding him or that they were a family, a fucked up little family, and he needed both of them, but it was okay. He still had Dee.</p>
<p>Until he didn't. </p>
<p>Suddenly, Janus is hanging out with him less. Is becoming more genuinely annoyed than that "I'm holding back a laugh" annoyance that was so <em> specifically </em> Dee. Is glaring at him more with <em> something </em>in his eye, as if he can't believe what Remus is despite the fact knowing him for 13 years. Saying things like "why can't you just be normal for once?"</p>
<p>not touching him anymore. </p>
<p>And then he stops hanging out all together. Blocks his number. ignores him in the halls.</p>
<p>And it's fine. <em> (its not) </em></p>
<p>It doesn't matter if when he sees snakey and emo laughing in the halls with <em> them </em>, he gets a sharp pain in his chest that won't go away.</p>
<p>It doesn't matter if seeing Romans genuine smile fills his heart with a disgusting mixture of pride and hatred.</p>
<p>It doesn't matter if he sent 4 kids to the hospital because they looked at him wrong and he's so angry he doesn't stop until they're begging him to.</p>
<p>It doesn't matter that his intrusive and suicidal thoughts are so much louder without the banter of Virgil and Janus to quiet them.</p>
<p>It doesn't matter if he's haunted by the laughter of his dead siblings in the manor alone because Roman is too busy hanging out with <em> them </em>to be home.</p>
<p>It doesn't matter if Remus isn't sleeping at all anymore or is so hopped up on a drug that he can't remember his own name. </p>
<p>It doesn't matter if he's demented, or a sinner, or wrong, or a <em> freak, what, you gonna cry, fag? gross, ugly, unloveable, disgusting, horrible, immigrant, go back to your own country, whydontyoujustkillyourself- </em></p>
<p>It doesn't matter.</p>
<p>
  <em> (yes it does.) </em>
</p>
<p>----------------------------</p>
<p>
  <em> Jack and Jill went up the hill  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> to fetch a pail of water </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Jack fell down </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> and broke his crown </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> and Jill came tumbling after. </em>
</p>
<p>Remus doesn't really know what's happening right now. </p>
<p>He knows that he took something, that he's flying- colors he never even knew existed swarming in his vision, pupils blown. It's the best he's felt in a long time. He's a little afraid he's going to float off his bed, float float float until he <em> splats </em>on the ceiling like a squashed bug. </p>
<p>He also knows that he has a razor in his hands. He took it out of the razor that Roman gave him as a gag gift on Christmas, saying that the mustache made him look like a pedo.</p>
<p><em>There are eyes on the walls, looking at him, they know everything and he knows</em> <em>nothing. </em></p>
<p>He lets out a crazed, manic giggle- or at least he thinks he does, he can't really tell- and it's all so funny, isn't it? </p>
<p>Poor Remus, forgotten brother of the Diaz twins, higher than the earth; so high he could touch space, and maybe in space people would still care about him and his friends wouldn't leave and his brother wouldn't leave and his siblings would still be alive-</p>
<p>
  <em> The walls are alive they're going to eat me up swallow me up like pills I'm going to die here oh god ohgod  </em>
</p>
<p>He looks down at the razor again. its small, the reflective surface glinting  off of the glowsticks in his room.It's the only thing grounding him at the moment. The weight in his hands, the feeling that it's <em> real. </em> He stares at it for who knows how long; eyes wide and glassy, pupils blown and face pale,</p>
<p>And he can't help but wonder,</p>
<p>
  <em> would anyone care if I fell down and broke my crown? </em>
</p>
<p>He laughed.</p>
<p>
  <em> probably not. </em>
</p>
<p>He's always wondered what it was like to bathe in the blood of his enemies.</p>
<p>
  <em> SOMEONE'S IN YOUR HOUSE YOU'REGOING TO DIE finally YOU'RE GOINGTO DIE  </em>
</p>
<p>He hears footsteps; or at least he thinks he did, everything is always a gamble nowadays, he's finally gone mad, <em> you've finally fucking lost it just like your mom </em></p>
<p>The footsteps don't come near his door though, they go past, probably on the way to the living room.</p>
<p>
  <em> So Roman's finally home.  </em>
</p>
<p>Remus laughs hysterically again and stands up, trying not to puke even though puke looks so gross and nasty with little chunks in it and globs of blood- he shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Panic and paranoia race around his chest and <em> squeeze </em> so he can't breathe. He closes his fist around the razor, cutting up his hand but he doesn't care.</p>
<p>
  <em> no one cares anymore </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> YOU'RE GOING TO DIE smash your head against the wall maybe the pain will stop </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Roman with his throat slit </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Virgil hanging from the ceiling  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Janus burning alive in the fire he started </em>
</p>
<p>Remus is aware that he is way too high and needs some water.</p>
<p>He opens his door, seeing the dark hallway and he <em> knows, </em>he knows something is out there waiting to gut him like a fish but suddenly he's so fucking thirsty he doesn't care.</p>
<p>Stumbling to the kitchen, <em> which is moving, that's so weird. Has the kitchen always wiggled like that? hah. wiggles. I liked that tv show, </em>he desperately opens the fridge door to find. . . something. He doesn't know what. Why is he out here again? </p>
<p>
  <em> Water. </em>
</p>
<p>Oh, right. </p>
<p>He finds the gallon of water in the back of the fridge and doesn't even hesitate to start chugging it down; his nose is burning but he doesn't stop until at least half of it is gone.</p>
<p>Remus coughs, hacking up water from his throat because like a <em> fucking moron </em>he drank too much too fast.</p>
<p>He sets the gallon on the counter and tries to breathe, still feeling paranoid and <em> Logan with his eyes ripped out </em> but starting to come down from his high a little bit. </p>
<p>
  <em> drip. drip. drip.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> what is that? </em>
</p>
<p>He looks around for the source of the dripping and finds that its coming from him. His hand is bleeding heavily from the razor and he trailed blood behind him from his room to the kitchen.</p>
<p><em> Roman is going to be so mad, probably going to hunt you down like the rabid dog you are, he's going to </em> <b> <em>kill</em> </b> <em> you  </em></p>
<p>"Remus?"</p>
<p>
  <em> speak of the devil. no, not the devil, that's me, daddy said so  </em>
</p>
<p>Roman is standing there, eyeing the blood on the ground with subtle horror in his eyes. His eyes are red, he looks upset and there are tears tracks down his face. Those don't really register, though.</p>
<p>Remus tries to talk, he really does, he opens his mouth and everything but his vocal chords seem to stop working.</p>
<p>Roman moves closer, concern in his eyes <em> but that's not right he must still be seeing things </em> as he eyes the gallon of water and Remus' blown out pupils. "Are you high? What are you doing? Why are you <em> bleeding? </em>"</p>
<p>He forces his vocal chords to work, fucking <em> work damnit </em> but nothing happens.</p>
<p>Roman puts a hand on his shoulder and it <em> hurts </em> , Remus flinches away like he's been branded. "Don't <em> fucking </em>touch me," he hissed and oh now his vocal chords work, that's convenient.</p>
<p>He didn't mean to say that. He wants nothing more than for Roman to touch him <em> not like that you fucking perverts </em> but the touch hurts for reasons Remus doesn't understand.</p>
<p>Roman furrows his brow, the concern in his eyes having gotten larger, "Are you okay?"</p>
<p>Remus almost laughs.</p>
<p>"Why do you care?" His voice is scratchy and wobbling.</p>
<p>Roman tilts his head, "Why wouldn't I care? You're my brother."</p>
<p>"Oh, I'm your brother, Romano? Really? That's what you've got? I thought you were a better actor than that." Remus is scowling now, <em> how fucking dare he act like he cares about me  </em></p>
<p>Roman scowls back, "I'm trying to help you, Remus, why won't you let me?"</p>
<p><em> how fucking dare you, </em>Remus is suddenly so angry, he's filled with rage at how Roman pretends to care. "Oh? Like you helped Marcus and Julius? And Andrea, Claudius and little baby Hadrian?"</p>
<p>Roman physically flinches back, <em> hit him where it hurts </em> , and his eyes go dark and stormy. Remus doesn't have a chance to prepare before his shirt collar is grabbed and he's <em> slammed </em> up against the wall by Roman. The concern in his eyes is gone, replaced by pure hatred. <em> there it is. there's what I know. </em></p>
<p>"Don't you fucking dare," Roman whispers, "Don't you dare say their names. You know damn well I couldn't have done anything." </p>
<p>"That doesn't matter, though, does it Ro? You know honestly, you should have been in that car with them. You fucking deserve it." <em> no he doesn't stop what the fuck are you saying </em></p>
<p>Roman flinches again and this time its enough for Remus to wrench out of his hold and push Roman back. His brother doesn't even fight back. He just stares at Remus, eyes wide and filled with hurt. He takes a deep breath and speaks.</p>
<p>"Well." His voice is wobbling. "Good to know what my druggie brother thinks of me." He says, <em> ouch </em>, before scoffing and walking away. Before he fully leaves the kitchen, he turns around and looks at the blood on the ground, then looks back at Remus. </p>
<p>"Aim for your wrist next time. I think you missed."</p>
<p>Roman leaves.</p>
<p>
  <em> aim for your wrist next time, I think you missed </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> it's true he does want you dead </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> why wouldn't he? after all the horrible things you said to him? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> aim for your wrist next time, I think you missed  </em>
</p>
<p>Remus sits down on the floor, in a puddle of his own blood, and cries.</p>
<p>
  <em> There they lay, left to decay</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Beside their pale of water. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Jack’s blood spilt</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Jill’s bones cracked </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And there they stay </em>
</p>
<p><em>Sleeping forever after</em>.</p>
<p>--------------</p>
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